Time Runaways

Set the scene. Let the universe take its cue. This is us. And this is why. We are bound by our hearts. Knotted by our fates. Untimely. Unwise. That’s what we seem to be. But none of it registers. None of it means anything. Because as soon as the minutes dwindled into seconds. I saw you and you saw me. And every little thing felt like scraps and heaps. This is us. And this is why. Nothing else matters but the synchronized patter of our joint hearts.

It’s an anomaly. I guess, we can both agree. Nothing about us screams predestined mates. We are as different as we are similar. Like oil and water. Nothing binds us. Not a thread. Nor a hair of sense. But there’s always that ringing bell. It silences the arguments. It peters down the aggressive drive to be right. This is us. And this is why. We might not fit together easily. But we work nonetheless.

You are fire and I am water. Maybe that’s how we should tell them when we are asked. It makes sense in a way. Fiery as you are, I temper you down with half truths and half lies. It’s the middle ground that’s always pretty safe. It makes the moment matter and the past all the minuscule. Past the petty jibes. It’s always there, a riveting bond. This is us. And this is why. We can forge together through anything that comes our way.

Forever means nothing but everything after all. It’s an impossible thing to be. It’s an impossible thought to pursue. Everybody wishes and holds time like they can bend it at their will. But of course, it’s impassive. It can work and it might also not be alright. So it’s foolish and trite to hope for a pointless thought. But it’s there. A nudge. A whisper. A concrete idea that doesn’t seem as hopeless as it should be. This is us. And this is why. We can penetrate our past, and hold our way through the magnificent promise of tomorrow and a day.

Youth Knows No Pain

Naivete gave us the world in pillows and silver tints. So shiny it was, that we never saw the tilted sword that hanged in every edge. We were young and bold, and thought that we can grab anything and not answer to the pain of carelessness and absolute abandon. We skipped with both feet, with eyes that glinted and starved. We didn’t see how the pavement was cracking. How it was the beginning of the end of what we knew.

Our age blinded us as we paved our way among the crowd that only wanted redemption for the day that they all knew will come. We pushed and we shoved and went the other way down. Who wants to hear the savage cries of unresolved dreams? We thought we had time so we sat and stared at the emptiness of the bleeding sky.  We could have saved ourselves at that point in time, but we didn’t hear the air as it tried to warn us of the eventual fall.

The sky rained with dust and smite, and all we ever thought was the dampness of the earth. We should have paid attention to the frozen faces that put a stop to that hour. On how you could have stolen their lives and hearts, and they wouldn’t have paid you no mind. It was the reckoning, and it told us that life will begin to unfold in the shortest of breaths. So they all stood still and wrung their hands until they creased. But what were we, but a child of the moon. We embraced the silence, and took our feet to the forbidden nook of our beloved haunt.

When we awoke, it was too late to run. The cracks created uneven lines that reached every horizontal space in the ground. When our eyes searched for people and faces, we could only see ghosts of pallid dreams that carries everything but nothing at all. The sky, oh the sky. It was the strangest mixture of granite and sea. A perfect ode to our wretched soul that longs for the bitter pill to make the days shorter. A chance to flush out our hearts, so that pain can no longer write, or visit whenever it wishes and wants.

Time-Bomb

There it goes, the winding of time. I crane my head just for a quick peek. Towards the distant empty night, my ears crave for a single word to be dropped. But as seconds, minutes and hours fall from the abyss, I can’t hear a thing, not even a pin, not even a speck of dust.

The silence is deafening, and it makes my heart beat even louder. Fear is inching closer to my toes, it’s seeps right through my body and moves into my mind like it has never before. If every fragment has just been changed. If everything will find another place in time. Then all would be nothing, a blank canvass of sullied memories and dreams.

What if life takes apart the only thing that I’ve ever cherished and loved? What if I have to push back and reclaim the photographs that will no longer hold the images of my past? It’s a silly thing to fear. It’s a stupid thing to worry and hold in denial. It’s not as if I can do anything to change this fate. It has been decided, so I will just have to wait and see another life unfold with my very eyes.

Time has stopped, and it’s taking its leap towards infinite loop. Slowly I can feel it lift a lifetime away from my soul. It’s stripping me of memories and future hopes and sweet dreams. It’s changing me and today I can feel the shift. It’s changing me and tomorrow I won’t even remember a thing.

Push

Have you ever felt two things at once? How your heart betrays your mind. When you choose one thing but another comes to pass. When the things that are meant to happen collides with expectations and realities. When what we want and what will occur are two separate things. We don’t know. We don’t have any control. With every missive, comes a saving grace. It’s like one step up the ladder but one inch closer to the ground.

When you build a map of your life, but there are gaps in between each route. There is calmness and fleeting panic on every single move. Where do you set your hand? To the left where the road seems friendlier? Or should you keep to your right and wish that there aren’t any broken pavements for your one man journey?

It’s a crux and a blessing. You can’t wish and expect that everything will come to pass. It begins and ends. There are openings and closings. What we believe can be grounded on false truths and implied heretics. What can we do but just go along. We are passing strangers in this thing we call life. We are best to accept and move on. There’s nothing to see but hope and fate.

So I just let go. I still hope but I know there’s a chance for a fall. I still dream but I know when things are against me. I know what to expect. I know what can happen. There would be new lives. There would be lost souls. All I can do is see and think. I can’t stop the flow of time and fate. Not that I would wish to. Not that I would want to take the reins and break the cycle.

When I feel alive and yet broken down. I remember how things can be and what should be done. There are always choices. There are always exit points. But to be here right now with ten fingers and ten toes? I’ll just go along. I’ll just soar through the sky.

Red Means Blue

Time runs too fast. It never slows for any one. It keeps on going even if you find yourself slumped to a corner. Its hands keep on moving. One tick past the memories of your life. It’s not your friend nor can it heal any of your wounds. One second of slumber might be worth years missed in joy and pain.

Five years gone and my mind still feels like a hazy swirl of repressed agony and regret. It’s crazy how everything seems different yet familiar. It’s not that I’ve forgotten, it’s just that I’ve tried to brush past it. The years. The wounds. The spastic motion of how it once was. I moved forward by keeping my mind free of those memories. But the thing is, time doesn’t vanish anything at all.

I might forget some things. I might think that everything’s fine. My mind might tell me that things turned out just right. But one point- a prick of the past is enough for all the memories to gush back. After all these years, it’s still raw. When my mind remembers that day, those years. I live in regret once again. It’s cruel how everything snaps right back. I miss you all over again, and I feel like drowning in might have been’s and could have been’s for the millionth time.

I miss you. I wish you’re still beside me. There are so many things I wish I could have told you. There are a million ways I could have showed you I cared. Wishes and hope. Dreams and Desires. I’ve let go of these emotions. I’ve tried to save myself the trouble of absolute disappointment. Which is why, right now, whenever I want something, I’ve never once wished or hoped. I’ve spent all my wishes and hopes on you and look where it got me. But all these feelings. All these notions keeps on stumbling back whenever I see your face in my dreams.

Time can never grant me that. Perhaps I’ll just run with time and think of minutes and days. It might never be okay, but at least I wont snap back to Wishes and hopes; Dreams and Desires. There’s no one here that can break my fall. If only you’re here…If only…